Silence. Family. Survival.

I turned 21 on Monday. To celebrate my birthday I went to the doctor’s office. This week I have been to the ER and have visited 4 doctors. None of them can figure out what is wrong. They all say that I need to ride out the pain and call them if it gets any worse. I am the kind of person that likes black and white. For every effect there is a cause. If there is pain, than there must be a reason for it. This week has pushed me and stretched me in that sometimes there is no answer. Sometimes the answer is wait. Wait on the Lord.

But what if I don’t want to wait? I know that is not the “Christian” response. But it is my David response. Why is the Lord silent on so many issues at the same time? Why?

All I know is that I have 18 more days till I get to be back in the one place that I feel most at home. Although these questions do not go away when I change geographical locations and although the silence still lingers, I will be home.

Home. I have come to realize that home is not a building. It is not a bedroom that smells like your mom. It is not a kitchen where you can always count on your mom whistling the same tune and cooking something yummy. Home is not a place. Home is your family. And family can change. That I have come to realize these past few months, sometimes there are unexpected additions to your family. However, family I know full well is not limited to blood relatives. My Church is my family. My college friends are my family. My God is my family.

When the silence lingers and the questions remain one thing I can count on, is my family to carry me through.